i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
