She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
