Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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