You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
