well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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