So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
