She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize