so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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