Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
