is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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