He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
