I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize