yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
