Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
