I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
