I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I came so hard my ears popped.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
