why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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