I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
