Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
