It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
