I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
