Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
