God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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