We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
