Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
