apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
