if you like me you must not know who I am
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
