You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
