It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
