Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
