It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
