Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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