btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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