Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize