sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
