There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
