I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
