i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
