Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
