why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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