I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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