So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize