Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
