WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
