I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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