i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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