so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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