i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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