Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
