Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize