areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
you never un-have a 4some
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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