that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
