How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
