My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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