Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
