all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
