I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
