It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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