He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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