i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
