After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
