How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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