They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
