Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
this hospital has no fireball
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
