Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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