I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
